Can't I be your last girl?

So many things, so many thoughts. So many mixed feelings, yet unable to let you know.... So close, yet so far. Right beside each other, yet miles apart.

How wonderful it is to imagine, that somewhere in parallel universe, we sit inches apart at laugh at the sheer thought of the impossibility of us! You come like a wave and drench me with a scatter of your pixie dust. There's magic in your words, but our future is so blurred. You're such a cutie, you've always been there when I've needed you. Your heart, your mind, you beauty, people like you are so so few.

You, as an individual, are like the moon. No matter at what phase, parts of you are always hidden. Yet, you've always made sure to stay by my side keeping aside everything that you are facing. Why? Is it not because you love me? Is it not because you want to make sure I am still the bold and strong lady you've met? Can you tell me with all your heart that you don't want a future with me?

I closed my eyes and spoke to you in a thousand silent ways. I can tell with confidence that you sure have heard me. But I'm not sure if you chose not to answer or have no answers to keep me contend. If you had no inhibitions, would I be enough to keep you happy forever? If you had no limitations, would you see me as the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? If you had no commitments, would you make few with me?

If your answers are no, why am I still here? But if yes, then is it my fault that we haven't met earlier? Why am I paying the price for your destiny? Why am I suffering because of your inability to decide?  And again, if you decide, what are the chances of her being me?

But the reality is, none of us are easy to be with. We all suffer from something. We all have issues we hide from, we run away from. Things that ruin us, destroy our peace, keep us up all night. At some point, you gotta be tired of going through the same shit again and again. We all want to go home, feel safe and at a happy place. Am I the home you are longing for?

Good things take time to happen, and so do the bad ones to end. I just hope your bad phase ends and you land up with a woman that serves your soul, brings peace to your life and happiness to your heart. 

We are together now, but are we really?