The girl in the mirror

There's a girl in the mirror,
I wonder who she is.
Sometimes I think I know her,
Sometimes I wish I really did.

She looks so familiar,
Yet her actions quite unpredictable.
Still learning to love herself,
Avoiding her doesn't work that well.

How many times have I tried to write a poem on her? Some millions and millions of times. But it strikes to me how can I, when I hardly know her. I have an image of her, expecting her to be in a certain way. But who knows, what she really is? She amazes me, doing the most unexpected things, at the most unpredictable time, way out of her league!

"Memory hoarding is a curse?", she often asked me. That made me smile, that made me sad. I wanted to hold her and assure "It's going to be alright", but she seems to be pretty far away, maybe the distance I can never reach. There lies a big mirror between the two of us, making me feel she's right beside. But where is she? Maybe I can never reach. "What's the compulsion?", I ask her sometimes. She looks at me in dismay as not a day passes by without seeing her.

There was never any exchange of words. All the communication was just through her eyes. She's almost smiling every time. Or is it the mirror that makes her smile? Sometimes I think I should pull her out of the mirror into the real world. Sometimes I think I'm the one inside the mirror and she's living in the real world. She's beautiful, she's resilient. We look so similar, or is that my assumption again?

We seem to be contemporary beings. I know her since forever, we grew up together. I'm the first to see her in any new dress. She's the first to spot rags in mine. I show her my scars. She shows me her tattoos. She faults her moves at me. I practice yoga with her. She winks at me. I stick out my tongue at her. She was there when I pierced my ears. And when she cut her long hair short, I did too. I'm her confidence, or is she mine?

She's a part of my mornings, she's there before the parties, she's dressing up like me, she's growing up like me. But she's just a part of me, I'm much more beyond her, I always thought. She's just in the mirror, while I have a world bigger than that. But little did I know, there's a world inside her too, where she deals with the things my world cannot do.

She was always the friend I never relied on. She's always there when I never really cared. I ran to people for reassurance. I expected love from the ones I admire. I have got about having fun in my world. But the last time I checked, she's still behind the mirror looking at me.

Often in life, we take people for granted. The ones we loved, the friends we adored, the support we received in distress, all are taken for granted as long as we have them. Because what we have, we lose value for. Did you ever wonder, if that was the girl in the mirror?

You get what you deserve!

Look at us! What are we?

Look at what we have done! Look at the big big skyscrapers, these mountain heighten buildings and all the concrete forest that we have built. The mass production industries that produce tons and tons of waste every day. Look at all the air, water and land pollution that it's causing. All the plastic we have produced and still being used everywhere.

And how did we forget what we've done to the animals? They have equal rights on this planet as much as we have. But what have we done? We have locked them up in zoos, stealing their freedom and food. All the leather, meat, cosmetics we produce that cost their lives. Oh, let's not talk about how they are made to perform in the circus and animal shows. The testing of drugs and cosmetics, use of animals in medical research got them seeing death in life. Why are we so heartless? Just because they are animals and cannot speak for themselves?

Okay. So did we at least spare ourselves? Nope. How greedy and selfish we are in name of money and fame, we don't even know what we achieve with all the manipulation. After all, we're all going to die empty handed, I hope you know. We've divided ourselves on various levels. We fight each day on the name of religion, region, caste, creed, race and what not! We bomb each other in the name of terrorism. We fight, kill, abuse and abandon each other. Why do we have anxiety, depression, rape, harassment, mental breakdowns, communism, violence and suicides? We should not even be knowing those words.

Remember that 3- year old boy from Syria who said "I'm gonna tell god everything" before dying? Maybe he really did.

This takes us back to the question published on another article. Does God exists? I have a small reasoning here. When there's a creation, there's a creator. When there's a destruction, there's a destroyer. Yes, that's what I believe. The nature, the animals, the birds and animals, the mountains and valleys, the rivers and waterfalls, the life and mortality. These are all creations, not by man, but by someone whom I chose to call God. An invisible power, that should be protecting us as well as punishing us, just like parents.

So when this little boy told everything, god got so furious that he put a small tiny thing on the planet, to punish us, the destroyers! And since then, it never died. It never stopped. It spread like wild fire and caused thousands of deaths all over the world within less than a month!

The whole world is frightened. We are all running in panic and havoc. We have become restless. We've gone to doctors, the researchers, the preachers, professors and virologists. They're trying their best, but who can defeat god? After all, he's the ultimate power. We are fighting this gigantic world war with a small invisible monster.

After trying all methods to cure and prevent this deadly monster, we have helplessly locked ourselves at homes. Schools, colleges, offices, supermarkets, public transport, international and national airline services and everything else except essential services have been shut down. What else can you do? How else can you escape? No communism or political party can use this situation to their advantage. Being selfish or manipulative cannot serve any purpose here.

Now this fear has knocked some sense into us human beings. All NRIs who've abandoned their parents are returning home to hide. All greedy business bosses have given away paid leaves to their employees asking them to go, save themselves and their families. Humanity is being restored. Several non-profit organizations have come up to help the underprivileged at this hour. Famous politicians and celebrities obey and respect the government without any arguments to protect themselves. All the pollution being caused by industries and vehicles have reduced to 40%. As a result, nature is being restored. God is repairing his creation that we have destroyed in all these thousands of years.

Animals! Yes! It is their time in the world. They have been roaming freely everywhere, with no fear of humans. This little virus has shown us, that we are all one. No caste or religion can save you today. No discrimination or bullying can make you powerful. This small monster has restored modesty in humans. We have to become kinder and treat each other better. Only together, we can survive this pandemic. But don't worry. This shall end soon. God may punish, but he'll let you win, just like parents. This is just a lesson he wants to teach, for our inhumane behavior and how recklessly we take nature for granted. Because at end of the day, you get what you deserve.

Can't I be your last girl?

So many things, so many thoughts. So many mixed feelings, yet unable to let you know.... So close, yet so far. Right beside each other, yet miles apart.

How wonderful it is to imagine, that somewhere in parallel universe, we sit inches apart at laugh at the sheer thought of the impossibility of us! You come like a wave and drench me with a scatter of your pixie dust. There's magic in your words, but our future is so blurred. You're such a cutie, you've always been there when I've needed you. Your heart, your mind, you beauty, people like you are so so few.

You, as an individual, are like the moon. No matter at what phase, parts of you are always hidden. Yet, you've always made sure to stay by my side keeping aside everything that you are facing. Why? Is it not because you love me? Is it not because you want to make sure I am still the bold and strong lady you've met? Can you tell me with all your heart that you don't want a future with me?

I closed my eyes and spoke to you in a thousand silent ways. I can tell with confidence that you sure have heard me. But I'm not sure if you chose not to answer or have no answers to keep me contend. If you had no inhibitions, would I be enough to keep you happy forever? If you had no limitations, would you see me as the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? If you had no commitments, would you make few with me?

If your answers are no, why am I still here? But if yes, then is it my fault that we haven't met earlier? Why am I paying the price for your destiny? Why am I suffering because of your inability to decide?  And again, if you decide, what are the chances of her being me?

But the reality is, none of us are easy to be with. We all suffer from something. We all have issues we hide from, we run away from. Things that ruin us, destroy our peace, keep us up all night. At some point, you gotta be tired of going through the same shit again and again. We all want to go home, feel safe and at a happy place. Am I the home you are longing for?

Good things take time to happen, and so do the bad ones to end. I just hope your bad phase ends and you land up with a woman that serves your soul, brings peace to your life and happiness to your heart. 

We are together now, but are we really?